Anonymous asked: I know its just a silly movie and you joked about it a few days ago and I know that Abraham Lincoln didn’t really kill vampires but in his writing did he write about a fear of vampires or worries about vampire problems?
You know, the first time I got a question like this, I laughed about it. But, since then, I’ve received numerous question about vampires and zombies and I just don’t know how to react anymore. Part of me thinks that a bunch of people are conspiring together to drive me crazy so that my head will explode. But…and this is FAR more frightening…I’ve come to the realization that most of the questions I get about this are serious.
Let me reiterate…most of the numerous questions that I have received about Abraham Lincoln or other historical figures battling VAMPIRES or ZOMBIES seem to be completely serious. I understand when someone is being silly and ironic or trying to be funny and rile me up, but far too many people have followed up on questions about vampires and zombies for me to just chalk it up to good old fashioned fun. There are people reading the words that I write on this website who genuinely think that Abraham Lincoln or other historical figures may have spent time battling VAMPIRES and ZOMBIES. And what is really scary is that when I joke about it and sarcastically answer their question, they usually respond with, “Haha, but seriously, how much evidence is there supporting it?”
And I just…I don’t know…I just want to delete everything I’ve written and move to an island in Fiji with all of my books and a big gun so that I can immediately shoot any human being who lands on my beach, even if they are lost and shipwrecked and perfectly normal. Or join al-Qaeda and punish this country for allowing a frighteningly large population of people to walk around when they have to ask questions about zombie/vampire battles.
I mean, no disrespect, but why are so many people SO fucking dumb? Isn’t it scary that, when Washington was inaugurated in 1789, there were less than 4 million people in the United States, yet our leaders included Washington, Adams, Jefferson, Franklin, Hamilton, Jay, Burr, Madison, Monroe, Henry, Paine, Hancock, Gallatin, Lee, Pickering, Clinton, Rush, and dozens of other legends, but in 2012, there are 315 million Americans, only 9% of the country approves of Congress, there isn’t a simple majority that approves of either major Presidential candidate, millions of Americans believe that the Earth is 6,000 years old and that dinosaurs and humans lived together, and more than one person genuinely wonders whether historical figures may have battled vampires or zombies in the past.